Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Texts From Hormonal 11 Year Old....

As I have mentioned in  a previous post, we have a lot of estrogen overload going on at our 
house. The following is a conversation I had through text messaging with Thing 3.  She had to
shower in our room because her sister was in the other bath.  The shower glass in our 
bathroom is smokey so you can not see through it.  I promise.
You can walk in when someone is showering and all you see is a blob.  Thing 5 went into the
bathroom for about 30 seconds to put some laundry in the hamper.  Thing 3 FLIPPED out.  We
sent her to her room.  That is when the texts began.....  My husband and I were in our room
cracking up. Thing 3's texts are yellow.   My reply's are blue. 
(Please excuse the weird punctuation.  I had to cut and paste from my phone and so the format 
is really weird.)

(1/4) I'm not coming out of my room!!!!! Thing 5 deserves to be grounded!!! U never
walk in when u know someone's showering!!!!! NEVER!!!!! Oh and by the way
(2/4) I'm not going to band tomarrow. I'm not coming out of my room. I don't care if I
starve to death. I will not come out of my room until I see Thing 5 
(3/4) get whipped (we have NEVER whipped our kids)  or grounded with my own eyes and ears!
So call mrs x and tell her 
Thing 3 will not be at BAND because I'm NOT going. U can't make
(4/4) me go either because I have my door locked and a little surprise for who ever opens
my door
Oh by the way I'm cutting of all my hair right now so I won't have to shower and risk
Thing 5 walking in again!

(Me) That is a bad idea. If you cut it I will not take you to get it fixed  
(1/2) I don't care! No one will see it because im not coming out of my room. The only way 
people will see it is when u finally get into my room to find me dead of starvation! 

(Me) You will die of thirst long before you starve. Don't take any drinks of water if you want to 
go quickly.
(1/5) I know u don't love me! If u did then u would of felt bad that I had an eight
know that I'm self 
conscious about my body. If you loved me u would whip
(Again, we have NEVER whipped our kids!!!) her and make her
(3/5) promise not to tell anyone. But no. U will say Thing 3 no one can see through the 
glass when they can. I know because when I was little and waited for
(4/5) dad to get out I could see him. Oh yea so Thing 5 didn't see anything! I know she 
did. She stood there for 2min until she talked. She saw my body.
She's gonna tell her friends because I know Thing 5  so I know that 
she is NOT capable to keep a secret. 
year old blabber mouth that points out my pimples to all her friends saw me in the shower. U

(1/2) U wonder why I'm always self conscious? It's because Thing 5 is my sister! She 
makes u mad on purpose and then laughs. She saw me and u don't even
(2/2) care!

(Me) I do care but you are too angry I will not talk until you calm down. (Meanwhile, Thing 2 

comes up. Thing 3 woke her up and told her she was going to stab her if she ever took a bath
again....We told Thing 2 to lock her door. We really didn't think she would stab her because she
hates blood...) 
You never threaten your family with knives!

U act like I care.

(ME) It would be best if you stopped and went to sleep because if I come down there you will 
be in big trouble'

I told u I'm not going to school!

(Me)That is fine. I will make a list of chores for you to do
1/2) That's not gonna work cause I'll be in my room away from u and Thing 5. I know 
she'll tell. I'm not stupid she's my sister it's her whole purpose in

(2/2) life to talk and ruin my life. 
Mom will u stop trying to win? It's not gonna happen

(1/2) I know u don't really love me so stop trying. If u really really love you'll come 
downstairs and talk to me. I'll even let u in but if u don't love me
(2/2) don't come and I'll know and be gone in the mourning.

For the record, I WON!!!!!!!!!! Thing 2 woke up safe. She did tell me she put a chair in front of the
door and had a phone by the bed in case she needed to call for reinforcements.  Thing 3 did 
go to band.  She did not cut her hair.  She did not die of starvation or thirst.  I am saving these 
in her permanent file.
Look for some great pictures from Quilt Market!!!!!


  1. oh, u have so much fun at your house, at least u have a sense of humor!!!

  2. She will squirm when she reads these as an adult. The one thing I have learned is that you can not argue with someone's emotions (darn it). It's all so very real to them. I'm glad that thing #2 took the necessary precautions to be safe!!!